My ex Girlfriend
by SkellingtonZero
Summary: My name is Ed and my ex girlfriend was Winry. I think I may have loved her. But that can't be right. A guy like me doesnt deserve a girl like her, actaully a guy like me doesnt deserve love at all. After the things I've done I deserve to burn in hell. -L
1. Chapter 1

Greetings, I am L.

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My ex girlfriend 

Chapter 1 

My name is Edward Elric and I broke up with my girlfriend a few months ago.

It was just who I am.

I never stayed in the same place for too long.

I sighed and slipped on my black aviator shades and stepped out into the warm summer sun. The sky was blue and filled with fluffy white clouds, the ocean spray cooled down my heated body, and the ice cold bottle of water felt like heaven down my throat.

Right now I was in America.

Sent away on some investigative work.

Or so my boss says.

I doubt it.

None of the information he gave me made any sense once I actually got here. I think this is a forced vacation.

I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead and turned away from the beach, filled with happy couples.

I was currently staying in California, in a beach house with my younger brother, Alphonse.

I worked for the military. This was nothing new, being sent away.

I began to walk down the sidewalk, in the direction of town. The cool wind blew against my back but the hot sun beat down on my head and shoulders, burning my skin. It didn't help that my long blonde hair was braided or that I swapped my usual black clothing for a simple white v-neck shirt and blue board shorts.

It was in my blood, running away from the things that made me happy.

I ran away from home.

I ran away from my best friend.

I ran from my supervisor.

It was instinct.

The fact that I still had my little brother with me was pure luck and determination.

I could use the fact that I work for the military as an excuse for why I move around so much but that would be a stupid lie.

I know it's because deep down, I don't want attachment to anyone but my brother.

Alphonse.

He was the only one who deserved my undivided attention.

I sighed and took a swig from the water bottle and sat down on one of the wooden benches situated under a shaded tree.

I sniffed the salty air and slouched down in my seat.

Her name was Winry.

Winry Rockbell.

She was taller than me; well truthfully everyone's taller than me-I have a height complex.

Anyways, she was beautiful.

She had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful tanned skin. We dated for a few months and it was some of the best months in my life; she'd accompany Al and me on missions no matter where it sent us, she'd fix my mechanical arm and leg anytime it got damaged, and she was the best girl I ever had.

She didn't care if the dates I took her on were at the top of the Eifel Tower in Paris, or in a guest room on military grounds.

All she cared about was that she was with me.

I slid my golden eyes closed behind my shades and listened to the crowds of people walking by.

Many of them had kids, from moms to dads to teenagers themselves. They were all talking and laughing and having a good time.

I took another sip of water.

I didn't realize how much I would miss her.

No one else ever came as close as she did.

She was perfectly imperfect.

She had a loud, piercing voice, a violent nature, and was prone to getting into trouble.

She liked to stick her nose into my business and loved playing with my hair, no matter how much it pissed me off.

Her hands were slightly calloused from working on machinery and her heels were cracked from all the walking we did.

And yet to me, she was the most beautiful girl.

She accepted the fact that my brother came first.

Al came before anything else in my life.

We'd lost our mother at a young age, and then I dragged her death on and on, rubbing salt in our wounds.

I tortured him for years.

And somehow, she'd managed to slip into our little, gated world.

But she couldn't stay for long.

I was sure of it.

Because he was the only one I had left, and I wasn't going to let anything come between us.

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend_

L.

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	2. Chapter 2

L.

My ex Girlfriend

Chapter 2

It was lunch time when I finally decided to get off my ass. The sun was now baking and I could feel the burns on the back of my neck starting to set in. Most people had already found their ideal place to dine; either out on the beach front or in a cool restaurant.

When I went back to the beach house, Al was there with food.

I walked inside, shutting the door behind me to keep the cool, air-conditioned air inside. The beach house had a deck, sitting room, living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, two baths and a perfect view of the waterside. Though honestly I didn't care for half of the shit.

As long as Al was with me, we could be sharing a motel room and I'd be okay.

He was taller than me, but had my blonde hair though cut shorter; into a guy's style. And instead of my golden eyes, his were slightly darker, almost brown.

"Brother!" I smiled as he grinned at me, pulling boxes of Chinese food out of a paper bag.

"Hey Al." I sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and watched as he sorted out the food.

"I found this really cool Chinese place on my way to town so I thought I'd bring some home for lunch." He handed me a lunch box with chopsticks on top. "It smelt really good."

I nodded and began to eat.

Without Al I don't think I'd do anything else but work.

He's my rock, my life, my everything since Mom died and I broke up with Winry.

There was a time I thought I could leave him behind with Winry and her grandmother, Pinako. I left him there for one week.

Seven days.

I made it down to Central office, worked on three cases, then cracked.

I was so lonely, so full of guilt that I hopped the morning train back home without any money or identification.

I got an earful from Granny Pinako and many death glares and silent treatments from Winry.

It was back when we were dating.

The reason I left Al in the first place?

She had convinced me that I didn't need anyone.

She convinced me that life wasn't my fault.

That shitty things happen to good people.

She had convinced me that the laws of alchemy didn't exist.

And that I didn't need to punish myself.

I took a mouthful of noodles.

I believed in her.

She became my safety net.

My oasis in a storm.

I looked up at Al to see him munching on a piece of chicken. He looked so happy, so innocent.

He wasn't though. I corrupted him; for years I tortured his mind with thoughts of our dead mother. Talking about her, obsessing over her death. He wasn't innocent. He'd never be.

I tainted him.

It wasn't bad enough that I covered myself in her blood. I shed it on him as well.

I sighed and sipped my soda.

Even though I killed my brother's childhood, I couldn't let him go.

And it tortures me that I even left him for as long as I did.

I don't blame Winry; she was trying to help me grow as a person. But I can't let go of the past. It's all I live for, trying to right the wrongs that can never be fixed; it's my cruel, torturous, world that I dragged my brother into and I refuse to let anyone else inside.

She got in for a time, and in that short space of happiness we had, I managed to wound my brother beyond all comprehensibility.

He never spoke a word of the week that I had abandoned him.

But I saw it.

In his eyes.

The day that I came back he stared at me with both the emptiness I felt down in my heart, and the realization that he had been abandoned.

He didn't say anything, only stood off to the side staring down at the ground while I spoke to Granny Pinako.

I tried to talk to him that night, about what had happened. To try and explain everything; but he didn't want to hear it. He just sat on the edge of his bed, staring at my worn, dirty, old boots.

After about ten minutes I gave up and went to bed.

And after he thought I'd fallen asleep, I heard him get up and leave the room. He didn't return for an hour; I spent the time debating whether I should have gone after him. When he came back, he had the faint smell of flowers and dirt surrounding him. He walked quietly up to the bedside table between the beds and placed a glass down then climbed back into bed.

Then I heard him whisper 'Thanks Mom' to the dark.

I munched absently on a piece of chicken as Al poured us some more soda.

Anytime anything went wrong or he was feeling down, Al always went and found some flowers and placed them on our bedside table.

It was something Mom always did, back when she was alive.

"So what do you think Brother?" I looked up at him, a sad, forlorn smile on my lips.

"It's good Al…thanks."

Al and I, we're stuck in this cycle. From now, till we die.

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend _

L.

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	3. Chapter 3

L.

My ex Girlfriend 

Chapter 3

After lunch I went out and sat on the patio in the shade of the house. The sun had lost some of its intensity but it was still pretty damn hot out.

The patio had a white table, lounge chairs, and an umbrella. All matching.

I sat in one of the lounge chairs facing the beach.

You might ask if I regret any of it; any of the decisions I made.

And I do.

I regret one.

The decision I made many years ago when I was still a child.

The decision to not let go of our Mother's death.

It haunts me; even to this day it still haunts my life.

I sighed and closed my aching eyes; the sun was still too bright out.

Winry had taken away the pain of it all.

The pain of all my mistakes.

Her laughter was like the one light in my life, without her I was surrounded by darkness. But I broke up with her, not out of fear but out of compassion.

No one as pure as her deserved to be locked in a life like hell with me.

Behind me I heard the patio door open and Al take a seat beside me.

"Brother?" I opened one eye and squinted up at him. He looked down at me with uncertainly then held out a phone. "Its Winry…she called to see how we're doing…"

I blinked.

Of course she would, she still worries about us no matter what.

I nodded and took the receiver. "Hello?" I asked, peering down at the ocean. It was so bright it was blinding me.

After a few silent moments, her voice finally came through. _"Hi Ed…" _She sounded nervous and depressed.

"Hey Winry." I tried to sound cool, calm, not at all flustered like my heart was beating wilding in my chest and threatening to hop out of my throat.

I still loved her.

"_So you guys arrived okay? I got a call from The Colonel-"_

"Mustang called you?" Why would my boss call my ex-girlfriend? Beside me I heard Al sit down.

"_Yeah…he said he…he didn't tell you?"_

"Tell me what?" I glanced at my brother to see his gaze locked on the ocean in front of us. He didn't want to hear it, but he didn't want to leave me alone. No matter how much I tried to hide it, he knew Winry was a sore spot for me.

She sighed a long, exasperated sigh like she use to when we were together. _"Oh…well I guess he didn't. You're on a forced vacation Ed." _She answered in a matter-of-fact voice. _"Guess he used me to break the news…anyway I was calling because he offered me a plane ticket out there…and I was wondering…" _

"Mustang's paying for your ticket out here?" I sat up straight in the lounge chair, my eyes open wide in horror.

That was news.

Why would he do that?

Out of the goodness of his heart?

"_Well do you want me to?" _

_I gulped. _

"Want you to what?" I asked carefully.

"_Come out there…I mean you're on vacation so…" _

I frowned and stared up into the sky.

Did I want Winry here?

Of course I did.

But was it right for her to be here?

No.

She brought happiness.

She brought love.

She brought a life I never knew existed.

But I couldn't have that life, not if Al wasn't included one hundred percent. And he never could be where Winry was concerned. When she's around, my heart won't stop beating, the only voice I hear is her own, and my eyes only see her.

I sighed and looked at Al sitting beside me.

He was quiet, too quiet.

I bet he already knew about this.

"Hey Al?"

He turned to face me.

"Yes Brother?"

"Do you want Winry to come spend some time here with us?" My golden eyes bore into his own.

He blinked.

Looked away.

Then stared right back at me.

"Yeah…I miss her."

The decision was final.

"Hey Winry? Call the Colonel and tell him you want the ticket." Then I hung up.

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend _

L.

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	4. Chapter 4

L.

My ex girlfriend 

Chapter 4

To say I was completely calm about the prospect of Winry coming to spend some time with us alone in California was a total and complete bullshit of a lie.

I was nervous.

My heart wouldn't stop pounding.

My head kept spinning.

My breathing was heavy.

And my mind was racing.

I broke up with her for a reason. For a good, solid, logical reason.

But being in a foreign country, watching all the people together as couples was starting to mess with my mind. Every once in awhile a thought would pop up in my head saying that it would be nice to date Winry again.

Yeah, it would be nice.

But it would be wrong.

I couldn't let her back through the rot iron gates I had set up.

Al and I on one side, the rest of the world on the other.

And she belonged with the rest of the world.

I sighed and stared up into the sky; it was late afternoon. The sky was fading into a dark blue and the sun was beginning to go away.

Beside me Al snored lightly, he had fallen asleep out on the patio awhile ago while I sat thinking, my head bursting with conflicting thoughts.

I glanced at him and my heartfelt heavy.

He looked so innocent in his sleep, his eyes were closed, his forehead relaxed, and his head lulled to one side.

He liked Winry, he always did.

It was wrong of me to try and completely keep her out of our lives when she brought one speck of brightness to his dark life.

I heaved a heavy sigh and racked my calloused and metal fingers though my hair. "Hey Al?" I called gently, trying to wake him up.

He didn't budge.

"Al?" I sat up and stretched my locked muscles.

He only snored louder.

I frowned and stood up then nudged him in the ribs. "Al come on time to go inside."

After a few seconds, he jerked awake and laughed. "Oh…sorry Brother…" He apologized around a yawn.

"Don't be." I arched my back, working out a few knots. "Let's go inside."

I turned and led the way back through the patio doors. Inside was dimmer than we left it since the sun was no longer high in the sky, there were dark shadows growing in every corner and eerie glowing spots where the remaining sunlight did seep inside.

"So what do you want for dinner?" Al asked as I went around turning on lights and locking the windows and doors.

I shrugged. "Anything."

I wasn't really hungry what with Winry still on my mind.

I was torn between a rock and a hard place.

I didn't want Winry back into my life.

But I didn't want her completely out of it either.

I also wanted Al to be happy.

But I didn't want him getting hurt by her and me again.

"Pasta sound good then?" I glanced up at him as I locked the living room windows. He stood in the middle of the kitchen looking at me, one hand holding up a box of pasta noodles.

I sent him a half hearted, tired smile.

"Sure Al."

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend_

L.

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Check out the link in my profile if you like the story.

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	5. Chapter 5

L.

My ex Girlfriend

Chapter 5

Winry was coming in on the midday flight, so I left for the airport about midmorning. The sun was out, as usual in this state and the sky was blue but the air was cool. A nice change for once.

I sniffed as I cast a glance at the ocean water then made my way up to the street to meet my cab because of course Mustang hadn't thought of transportation when he sent me over on this forced vacation.

I was so nervous at the prospect of seeing her on my own that I developed a nervous twitch in my arm.

Al decided that he wasn't going to meet her at the Airport.

He decided that he would make her a nice home cooked lunch so we can eat out on the deck.

He decided that it was time I spent time with her alone.

Even if it was for half an hour.

I grunted a greeting at the driver and slipped into the backseat then sulked all the way to the airport.

I got there with about half an hour to spare.

There weren't that many people around but it was still enough to make me a nervous.

Well more nervous than I already was.

So after wandering around aimlessly for ten minutes I finally staked out a spot in front of the arrival area and sat down.

That way, I could see exactly when Winry arrived.

I heaved a heavy sigh and crossed one leg over the other and folded my arms.

After a few seconds, a little kid walked by in front of me, his eyes open wide in shock.

I shifted uncomfortably and glanced around. Everyone was either outright staring at me or glimpsing at me.

I had forgotten that these people weren't use to the fact that I had at metal arm and leg.

But it still didn't give them right to gawk at me like I was a freak.

I slouched further down in my seat and bent my head low to my chest and crossed my arms.

Beside me I heard a girl whisper to her friend about how she thought I was weird.

Americans can be so fucking rude.

I bit my tongue.

Did she think I wanted this?

I absently flexed my metal fingers against my biceps.

Do people really believe I want metal limbs instead of regular blood filled, muscle ones?

"Ed?"

People actually believed that if I had a choice I would choose this?

"Ed? Is that you?"

That I would opt to be a freak?

"Ed that's you isn't it?"

That I like having people stare at me where ever I go?

"Ed! Hey are you sleeping?"

To have children come up and kick my metal leg just because I look funny?

"ED SNAP OUT OF IT!"

I jerked out of my daze to see the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes upon staring down at me with a scowl on her pretty tanned face. She was wearing a sleeveless white dress that topped before her knees with a light blue bow that tied at her waist paired with white sandals and a white hat atop her head with a little blue bow attached to the side.

"Winry!" I jumped up, my face heating up a bit. "Hey, when'd you get here?" I asked and took the suitcase from her hand.

She sighed and brushed her long blonde hair away from her shoulders and hefted her carry on. "Oh about five minutes ago." She glowered. "Where's Al?" Her sparking blue eyes swept the faces of people nearby. Most of them were staring at us and whispering.

I frowned as I caught what some of them were saying.

"She's too pretty to be with him…"

"She's with him? Are they dating?"

"No that must be his sister-they both have blonde hair!"

"What the hell is wrong with him? His arms metal?"

"So is his leg!"

"He's pretty sho-"

"Ed?" Winry grabbed my arm and proceeded to drag me out of the airport, my mind came crashing back into my body the moment her callused fingers griped my warm skin.

"Oh right Al's home." I chuckled nervously and scratched the back of my head with my cool metal fingers. "I think he's making a feast or something since you're here."

A warm glow erupted on her face as she stared up into the warm, sunny sky. "Awww he's so cute!" She squealed. "So the Coronel said he got you two a place on the beach?"

I shrugged cooling, a grin playing on my lips as I snuck a glance at her impressed face. "Yeah…" I strode over to an empty cab and nodded to the driver who got out and started packing her luggage into the trunk. "Come on Winry." I smiled at her as I opened the door for her to step in. "You don't want to keep Al waiting."

She smiled a heartwarming smile and nodded.

And then, a little voice in the back of my head started singing that same old familiar song that I knew all too well; she was slipping back into my gated little world.

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend_

L.

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Check out the link in my profile if you like the story.

Continue?

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	6. Chapter 6

L.

My ex Girlfriend

Chapter 6

By the time we finally reached the beach house Al had already set everything up and the remaining dishes he adamantly refused our help, instead he sent us off to the beach; claiming that I needed to at least show Winry the nice view that we had.

"Looks like we're temporally banished from the house." Winry laughed and led the way down to the beach, slipping off her sandals along the way.

"Oh Winry keep your shoes on." I muttered, my hands shoved into my pant pockets as I strolled behind her along the beach.

"No I want to feel the sand between my toes." She grinned and tossed her sandals at me.

"Hn." I frowned and caught them.

I watched as she ran along the beach, stopping a few times to dust off her feet. Eventually she found her way down to the ocean and walked right up to it, only stopping when her ankles were covered under water. "Ed this is amazing!" She looked over her shoulder and grinned at me.

She looked beautiful, standing there in the water, her long blonde hair flowing behind her, the way her dress caught the wind and danced up her legs.

"Brother! Lunch is ready!" I turned around to see Al waving at me from the deck.

"Okay!" I waved back then turned back to Winry. "Hey Winry! Time to go!" I watched as she slowly began to walk back to me, her feet a mess of wet and dry sand.

"Lunch is ready? Are we no longer banished?"

"Yeah." Together we made our way back up to the house and met Al at the stairs.

"So Winry, how was your flight?" Al asked as he began taking out some food for her. He really had cooked a feast; BBQ chicken and steak, mashed potatoes, salad, grilled corn, steamed lobster and a whole tray of desserts.

Winry shrugged absently, her eyes fixed on the sparking ocean in front of her. "It was fine…"

We were having a late lunch out on the deck, just as Al wanted. Winry sat in the middle of us, Al to her right, me to her left. I was happy to tell you the truth. It was like old times, happier times. Al was smiling, WInry was laughing, and me; well to be honest I wasn't thinking all too much. I turned off my brain.

I just wanted to enjoy this moment.

Before things started to fall into place.

"So Ed how are you?" I looked up to see Winry smiling at me, a one-fourth filled wine glass in her hand.

"I'm fine. How about you?" I stood up and grabbed the half full wine bottle and proceeded to fill up her glass.

"I…I'm…I-Ed…" And then she stopped.

I pulled back the wine bottle and stared into her luminous eyes.

"What is it Winry?" I asked automatically.

"Ed…" She spoke, her plump lips barely moving.

"Yeah?" My heart started pounding, resounding in my ears.

"I…I really miss you…" Her eyes darted down to my lips then back up to my eyes.

"I miss you too…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

"Ed…do you think…can we-"

A loud crash woke me from my stupor, I looked over the table and saw Al standing there, his white shirt dripping with fresh blood. "AL!" I screamed and ran to his side to see him clutching his bleeding hand to his shirt. "What happened?" I grabbed his arm and inspected his wound.

"I'm sorry Brother…" He whispered and began to move to the house.

I followed.

"Sit on the couch Al, I'll get the first aid kit." I ordered him and jumped over the kitchen counter to retrieve the emergency medical kit we had in one of the cabinets. Within seconds I was back by his side, my brain scarcely noticing Winry standing in the background.

His cuts weren't that deep and they didn't require stitches but they still bled a lot. As quickly as I could, I cleaned the wounds and bandaged them, my heart still pounding in my throat.

"Thanks Brother." I heard Al whisper as I clasped his freshly bandaged hand in-between my bloodstained fingers.

"No problem Al." I mumbled automatically, my gaze locked on the white bandages.

After a few seconds he spoke again. "I'm sorry Brother…"

This time I looked up into his brown eyes to see them welling up with tears. "For what?"

"Because I ruined your date with Winry…" He sniffed.

"What? No Al…" And then I trailed off.

What could I say? From his perspective it did look something like a date, and he did set this up now that I think about it. He wants us to get back together.

I hung my head in shame.

My dear Brother.

He got hurt, and I only noticed when he was physically bleeding.

"Hey Al?"

"Yes Brother?"

"You set up that date?"

"Yes Brother."

"Why?"

He took a few moments to answer. "Because I like it when you're with Winry." I looked up to see him looking behind me at Winry standing in the corner. "When you're with her your happier Brother…you really are."

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend_

L.

Continue?

All constructive and unconstructive criticism welcome.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello.

This was a rather short story but I am pleased with the way it turned out. This is something we all at one point in our lives go through though we all choose different paths to take.

My ex Girlfriend 

Chapter 7

I had a decision to make.

It was Winry or Al.

I slouched down in the couch, it was the middle of the night but I wasn't anywhere near sleepy. My head was filled with thoughts of Winry, Al, my heart, my gut. It didn't make any sense.

Al wanted us together but I knew deep down, I couldn't be with her.

This was my punishment for hurting Al when we were younger, for constantly giving him false hope then crushing it.

This was what I deserved for not being the responsible big brother for all those years.

This was what I get for putting myself first and him second.

I closed my eyes.

But that's okay. I can live with that because I now know that I can't find happiness without Al. He has to be there; by my side otherwise life isn't worth living. Some people won't understand, and that's fine. When you've had no one but yourself to consider for years it's a difficult concept to grasp.

To understand that sometimes, what you want isn't as important as protecting the ones you love.

That sometimes, putting yourself second will bring you more happiness and memories that you could ever imagine.

And I love Al more than I love myself.

Therefore Winry doesn't matter.

In this equation, she doesn't fit in.

It's Al plus me equals a better life.

With Winry, Al gets factored out somehow. And that's something I couldn't live with.

I heaved a heavy, hearty sigh and closed my eyes; hopefully sleep might come to me tonight.

_My ex Girlfriend My ex Girlfriend _

Morning came, the sunlight shone in through the windows, and I heard footsteps fall behind me. I turned around, and there she stood in all her glory. Her long blonde hair was messy from sleep, she was rubbing her eyes, and her clothing was slept in yet she looked absolutely gorgeous.

I turned away.

I had to tell her.

I had to let her know that it was Al.

I was choosing Al.

I was choosing my little brother.

She was no longer allowed in our world.

I was locking the gates forever.

From now on, it was going to be Al and me on one side, and the rest of the world on the other. Just like it was meant to be.

My ex Girlfriend ~ End 

L.

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